I can’t remember the last time I’ve blogged about anything. Or anything significant, at least. But I’m feeling a little odd so I thought at least the Mac would be supportive of that. So this entire week, school was out for fall break, which is sweet because I finally began feeling the overwhelming affect of Junior Year Stress (JYS, if you will). I was ready to have an emotional breakdown (no wait, I did that), so a week without school couldn’t have come at a better time. My plans were to do a little college searching (as if I haven’t done that enough already) and hopefully chill with friends. But I know what I really needed from these few days was a renewal. I know that amidst my massive baggage of school, stress, social life, family, ambition, future plans, and (most importantly) spirituality, the last was just that: my last priority. Most of the time I just read my Bible, shout out a few requests to God, sing some sweet (but often empty) words to Him and expect Him to make me and my time here on earth perfect. As if that were enough. I know that I don’t really know God for the raw complexity of who he is, but I want to. But who in this world can put him first? Who has their life together? How? I don’t want to go to the self-help section of Borders in a confused state, wondering why my life lacks simplicity. I want to have it all together in this neat little box entitled, “Rachel’s Life.” So if I was made in God’s image, why am I imperfect? Why aren’t we all just slightly less perfect beings than God, just basking in his glory because He is ultimate perfection? So here we are, walking, breathing, fighting—useless beings with no idea how to run our lives. But that’s why I’m so thankful for Him. When I’ve sunk down to the lowest version of me, a selfish brat of a mess whose myopic view of living must cause God to shake His head in disappointment, He still loves me. I don’t know how or why, but He does. Even when I reject his love and plead for selfish worldly love, he places his hand of blessing up on my head and tells me that I am strong. I read today that God hates the wicked (as is repeated throughout the Bible, of course) but loves his righteous and humble servants. He promises that if I follow him and aim to do his will, that he will give me the desires of my heart. He will be there when I stumble (as I so often do), but will never let me fall. Weebles always wobble but they don’t fall down. But really, aren’t you glad we’re Weebles? If we have Him with us, we always have that core, that “anchor of our souls” that keeps us from falling from his grace that we so undeservingly receive. So I pray tomorrow will be a true day of rest for me and for all of us, really. That this Sunday in particular will refresh our souls because of our encounters with Him and that he will prepare us well for the weeks ahead. I pray for endurance to keep going and wisdom beyond my years to understand his perfect hope for me.
In hope of our commitment to Him,
R.E.
Oh and hey, here's a checklist of what I've been up to lately:
- Visited UGA, Samford University, Ole Miss, Rhodes College, Belmont College, College of the South, and Vanderbilt
- Turned 16, got my license, got my first car (an Xterra, thanks Dad!)
- Done research for my 16th Birthday trip (Costa Rica, here I come??)
- Gone apple picking in anticipation for fall!
- Got inducted into the National Honor Society
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