decide what you want to be and go be it,

So this week, my daily routine has consisted of a variety of things. I wake up around lunchtime, except when interrupted by hammering in the unfinished (though nearly finished by now, thanks to Papa Joe) basement or the sound of ripping up carpet for some new duds in the den. But despite shorter spans of sleepy time, I’ve been energized by God only knows what, and so my days have begun to reflect that. I love my routine now that there are actually groceries in the house (a luxury I lived without for two weeks when just me and my dad were home). So waking up, eating cherries and jam on bread is such a lovely way to start a morning. I love food. I come from a family that has always loved food, as is displayed in our family recipes and sometimes our growing bellies. But you know what? I’d rather eat food I love and enjoy the blessings of God’s bounty than reject what many people in this world don’t have. I’m not going to starve myself or keep myself from eating what I want. No, I’m not going to KFC every day and eating fried chicken (ew.), but I am whipping up little meals of delicious things that will satisfy me without killing me. And I hope this mentality will restore the toxic mindset that I’ve become accustomed to due to where I live. In East Cobb, you have to look good no matter what. Even if you’re running to the grocery store, you’ve got to look great just in case you see someone you know. My mom, sisters, and I always say, “I hope I don’t see anyone I know.” And it sucks that we feel that way, but the vanity aspect of living here can be vicious at times. I mean, every day (more like every moment of every day) I feel dissatisfied with the way I look. I think I’m too big. Which, in reality, might not be true, but in comparison to the beautiful women I see on TV and the skinny b-words that live here, I’m just not good enough. Don’t worry, I have no eating disorder and I don’t plan to. So obviously my self-doubt never comes between the dinner table and me. But the usual girl frustrations always get on my back (just as they do every other woman) and keep me from enjoying what I have. But anyway, now that I’ve talked my way through that tangent, I’ll go back to how my week has been. So with my newly replenished refrigerator, I’ve nabbed at the chance to try out some recipes I’ve found online. Screw cookbooks. They’re expensive and I don’t have any good ones. Well, Caroline does, but they’re somewhere in storage ever since she’s moved back home. Booooo. So I’ve found a new love of food blogs and I can’t get enough. Food bloggers are just so cute. I told my mom that and she laughed, but whatever. They sound so passionate and in love with their precious little lives cooking for their newlywed husband or little kids. I especially applaud the foodie pioneers who write about living on their small farm and cooking everything they want from what they grow. That’s awesome. And I hope to someday do the same. Oh, permaculture (kind of). So what I’ve tried so far is a light salad consisting of raw thin asparagus, one red onion, olive oil, and some pecorino cheese. Lemme tell ya, this cheese is fantastic. I’m no cook, so I had never heard of it (and the 10 dollar price sticker made me question why it existed at all). But this cheese is freaking fantastic. It’s sharp, not too rich, light, and delicious. Perfect for summer. I just wish I could afford it (thanks mom!). But the salad was pretty good. Light and summery and a snap to make. Love it. And with that, my mom added some burgers on cheddar rolls which were super fantastic and I’m still smelling my fingers to get a whiff of those things. Woah, that sounded creepy. That reminds me of Charlie’s Angels (2, I think) when the creepy rat-looking guy with a big nose and black hair smelled Drew Barrymore’s hair after he pulled it out. Ew. Okay so I also tried out a recipe for homemade pop tarts. Sounded fantastic. And it actually worked out well considering my tendency to mess up any dessert that doesn’t come from a Betty Crocker box. The dough was easy enough to make, the recipe required very little ingredients, and they taste great. I decided to go with a Nutella filling. I know, I know, a rockstar move at that. Who doesn’t love Nutella? Okay, well my dad doesn’t, but he sucks with that kind of stuff. So if anybody wants to sample one of my deliciosities, come on over. Pictures of all my creations to come. Let’s see…what else have I done this week? Well I’ve watched tons of episodes of My Boys (on TBS) and gushed when Brandon and PJ kissed. Ahhhhh. I love him; he’s so super attractive. That messy dark hair and 5 o’clock shadow always kill me. And I’ve been looking some more at colleges (thanks to College Prowler). I definitely got an early start on the college front. I’ve wanted to leave for college since the 6^th grade, so being an upperclassman couldn’t come any sooner. Oh, except for the fact that I’m having a nervy b (nervous breakdown, for those of you who haven’t seen Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging) about if it’s a mistake to only take one AP class this year or if I’ll get into the National Honor Society and what my GPA is and whether or not I’ll be able to get into this one college I now have my eye on. This is unnerving, and I don’t wanna hear squat from any parents (including mine) about this entire process. It’s completely different now to be in high school than what it used to be, so shut your trap. But enough venting and onto the excitement. I just researched a little bit about Rhodes College in Memphis, TN. Me and my dad are planning to hit it when we go visit Ole Miss in Oxford, MS. This college is apparently stunning academically with highly esteemed professors and great facilites. It’s a small school with brilliant Gothic architecture (reminiscent of Rory going to Yale, anybody?) and (so I hear) some pretty attractive students. It also has a Christian affiliation, is in close proximity—actually, it’s in—a big city, is in the South (only on my checklist because of the friendly people), and is a music town. The only problem is probably the lack of sports teams (which really isn’t a problem since I’m the opposite of athletic) and the HUGE price tag. It’s about 32 grand without room and board. What the hell? That’s ridiculous. I mean, I’m sure I can snag some scholarships, but still. It’s tough. But I think this school is still a good prospect. So far I’ve visited at least 15 schools without feeling a connection to any of them. And to say that I’ve fallen in love iwht one just by looking at it online is a pretty good sign. But I don’t even know if I could get in (even if I’m not a shabby student) or if we’d ever have the money to pay for it.. But I’ll leave all this up to God. There’s no way I could figure all this out myself. So that, doing some yoga, and researching my 16^th trip is pretty much what I’ve been up to. And you?